Kayla Testimony
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I don’t know why I’m writing this, but something told me to so I am. Ha. It’s kind of a testimony/motivational type thing Maybe!?
I got the Holy Ghost in September 2006, and immediately rebelled and ignored God completely. I didn’t want to give my life to anyone and definitely didn’t want to have to change anything about me because in my eyes I was really living large. I never got into drugs, alcohol, or sex because honestly I was a chicken and afraid I’d get in trouble if my parents found out. My mom was in church and my dad refused to go and attended a Baptist church when he was off work. My church had a revival during the weekend of New Years and my mom happened to talk my dad into attending, and OF COURSE he got the Holy Ghost. Then, I got refilled with the Holy Ghost. I felt GREAT when I was in the church, but as soon as I walked out of the doors the devil started his game. He told me that MY life was over, no more doing what I wanted, and that now that my dad was going to start attending church that I might as well get over it I was stuck. I got mad, very mad.
Well with the help of my wonderful Aunt (who’s a minister) and my cousin they helped me get past that mad stage and see that you really could have fun being Pentecostal. I finally started to shedding all the stuff that held me down… the make-up, jewelry, scissors that was the easy stuff, but I had trouble with my pants because I thought that as soon as I put on the skirt no man in his right mind would ever look my way again. I began wearing skirts to church but never to school or in public. The thought of a guy always held me back.
Then a girl in church told me that they were trying to convince her brother to come to a revival and that I should meet him. I was really excited because I thought that if he got the Holy Ghost then JUST MAYBE we could date… (silly I know). Anyway, he comes and of course, gets filled with Holy Ghost and that same night I get the phone call that changed my life. I found out that he had been raised in Pentecost and that he already knew pretty much everything about it, he just didn’t want to give up HIS life either. But, to make a long story short... He got in church, and I ditched the pants and I’ve been a skirt girl since. (Ha, and unlike most Pentecostal girls, I don’t even sleep in them bc once I let go… I LET GO.)
Well, life was wonderful! I was with someone that I really cared about and better than that I was on fire for God. Then after a few months of dating we got our eyes off God, and it got bad fast. We started giving into lust and that fire began to get cooler and cooler. All we thought about was each other and that was all we were worried about. Then the shock of my life, shortly after Christmas and 9 months of dating I was confronted by his mother at work. I immediately knew something was wrong; he had left. Praise God, we were in revival because if not literally may have died. I went days without eating and slept constantly. I drew closer to God though, and now that I look back I see that that’s why he allowed it to happen. He truly is a jealous God, and that was the only way he could get me to himself. I only talked to “the guy” 3 times in 6 months. But for the most part I did well with it… in the beginning all I could do was cry and beg God to send him back, then that began to settle and I simply prayed for his soul. I was okay if he didn’t come back.
Then, once I was almost completely over it, he called. He said he was giving his life back to God and he was coming home. Of course, like a dummy almost as soon as he got home we began dating again. This time only for about 3 months, we broke up because he thought I was cheating on him but he was actually talking to someone else. He backslid again and I got close to God again.
In January 2008, I got the flu and had to miss church one night. He came that service and got a renewing in the Holy Ghost and I texted him to congratulate him and that started the cycle all over again. We dated for over a year this time. We were engaged for about 5 months. But our relationship just wasn’t very joyful. We always fused about stupid stuff… we acted like enemies not two ppl that were supposed to be getting married. I learned to ignore a lot things about him that bothered me so we wouldn’t fuss, but it just didn’t get better. We weren’t focused on God anymore; that lust was still there and we never kept victory over it. Then he began to miss church regularly and started questioning truth and salvation. That really bothered me, but I thought I’d give him time to seek after God. He never did. He didn’t pray, read, or fast. There was nothing there.
Finally, after I started looking through God’s eyes I saw that he was going to change. I broke up with him a week ago.
I miss him, yeah, but I know I’m finally God’s now. I went through 3 years of fighting. I may have lost battles, but I didn’t lose the war. I feel free now. My shackles are gone. I can now worry about MY salvation.
Never stay with someone because you think you can’t make it without them. Don’t depend on ppl to carry you through life’s hardship. Don’t forsake God because things aren’t going your way. Don’t worry about loneliness. Just ride the waves through the storm… there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. God’s always going to be there.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
Like I said, I don’t know why I wrote it but maybe it can help someone else in the same situation.
I got the Holy Ghost in September 2006, and immediately rebelled and ignored God completely. I didn’t want to give my life to anyone and definitely didn’t want to have to change anything about me because in my eyes I was really living large. I never got into drugs, alcohol, or sex because honestly I was a chicken and afraid I’d get in trouble if my parents found out. My mom was in church and my dad refused to go and attended a Baptist church when he was off work. My church had a revival during the weekend of New Years and my mom happened to talk my dad into attending, and OF COURSE he got the Holy Ghost. Then, I got refilled with the Holy Ghost. I felt GREAT when I was in the church, but as soon as I walked out of the doors the devil started his game. He told me that MY life was over, no more doing what I wanted, and that now that my dad was going to start attending church that I might as well get over it I was stuck. I got mad, very mad.
Well with the help of my wonderful Aunt (who’s a minister) and my cousin they helped me get past that mad stage and see that you really could have fun being Pentecostal. I finally started to shedding all the stuff that held me down… the make-up, jewelry, scissors that was the easy stuff, but I had trouble with my pants because I thought that as soon as I put on the skirt no man in his right mind would ever look my way again. I began wearing skirts to church but never to school or in public. The thought of a guy always held me back.
Then a girl in church told me that they were trying to convince her brother to come to a revival and that I should meet him. I was really excited because I thought that if he got the Holy Ghost then JUST MAYBE we could date… (silly I know). Anyway, he comes and of course, gets filled with Holy Ghost and that same night I get the phone call that changed my life. I found out that he had been raised in Pentecost and that he already knew pretty much everything about it, he just didn’t want to give up HIS life either. But, to make a long story short... He got in church, and I ditched the pants and I’ve been a skirt girl since. (Ha, and unlike most Pentecostal girls, I don’t even sleep in them bc once I let go… I LET GO.)
Well, life was wonderful! I was with someone that I really cared about and better than that I was on fire for God. Then after a few months of dating we got our eyes off God, and it got bad fast. We started giving into lust and that fire began to get cooler and cooler. All we thought about was each other and that was all we were worried about. Then the shock of my life, shortly after Christmas and 9 months of dating I was confronted by his mother at work. I immediately knew something was wrong; he had left. Praise God, we were in revival because if not literally may have died. I went days without eating and slept constantly. I drew closer to God though, and now that I look back I see that that’s why he allowed it to happen. He truly is a jealous God, and that was the only way he could get me to himself. I only talked to “the guy” 3 times in 6 months. But for the most part I did well with it… in the beginning all I could do was cry and beg God to send him back, then that began to settle and I simply prayed for his soul. I was okay if he didn’t come back.
Then, once I was almost completely over it, he called. He said he was giving his life back to God and he was coming home. Of course, like a dummy almost as soon as he got home we began dating again. This time only for about 3 months, we broke up because he thought I was cheating on him but he was actually talking to someone else. He backslid again and I got close to God again.
In January 2008, I got the flu and had to miss church one night. He came that service and got a renewing in the Holy Ghost and I texted him to congratulate him and that started the cycle all over again. We dated for over a year this time. We were engaged for about 5 months. But our relationship just wasn’t very joyful. We always fused about stupid stuff… we acted like enemies not two ppl that were supposed to be getting married. I learned to ignore a lot things about him that bothered me so we wouldn’t fuss, but it just didn’t get better. We weren’t focused on God anymore; that lust was still there and we never kept victory over it. Then he began to miss church regularly and started questioning truth and salvation. That really bothered me, but I thought I’d give him time to seek after God. He never did. He didn’t pray, read, or fast. There was nothing there.
Finally, after I started looking through God’s eyes I saw that he was going to change. I broke up with him a week ago.
I miss him, yeah, but I know I’m finally God’s now. I went through 3 years of fighting. I may have lost battles, but I didn’t lose the war. I feel free now. My shackles are gone. I can now worry about MY salvation.
Never stay with someone because you think you can’t make it without them. Don’t depend on ppl to carry you through life’s hardship. Don’t forsake God because things aren’t going your way. Don’t worry about loneliness. Just ride the waves through the storm… there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. God’s always going to be there.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
Like I said, I don’t know why I wrote it but maybe it can help someone else in the same situation.