Amy's Testimony
I was 7 years old when I think back to the farthest memory I can remember. We did have are good times but there sure were things that didn’t have to happen. The yelling, cussing, fighting, and hitting were a few of the things going on. All those times, you would want to just get out of the house so you wouldn’t have to be near him. My mom trying to do the best she could, but my dad was never happy with the things she did for him. I spent as much time as I could with my mom. Never being brought up in a house that even mentioned the word pray. Never did we once go to church. Never was even told what a bible was or even seen one in my house.
Growing up I always felt emptiness in my heart. Therefore, I went looking for things to fill that emptiness I felt. I started doing this right after I turned 15. I met my first boyfriend who was 19 at the time. I had love, affection, acceptance, and happiness at that time. However, it only last so long until the bad came in and you start searching again. Throughout many years from the time I was 15 to the age of 21, I always felt this emptiness in my heart. Searching, seeking, and wanting to be fulfilled. Having to deal with mental, emotional, and physical abuse from people, I allowed in my life. I was always out searching for that love that would fill my heart up. Had many friends, many boyfriends, and had things that seemed to make me happy for only a season. I was always sad, depressed, and never truly happy. I longed for the day for my heart to feel joy, love, to know answers, acceptance, and happiness.
I was out at the bars at age 21 trying to "fit" in with many others. I felt an acceptance that I thought would make me happy. That only lasted until I was out searching again. I did not understand why life was this way. I started talking with a few people online who went to church. I realized not everyone is out doing these other things. That there is a reason why I am on this earth and I wanted to find out what it was. I met people offline who went to church and learned a little bit about what the bible was. I started going to church around March 11th of 2002. I realized that there was more to life then trying to be accepted. Life was not all about ME, drinking, sex, affection, bars, fitting in, hanging out with friends, and doing things others did. Spending more time with the ones I met offline; I realized I really could be happy IF I WANTED TO BE. A few things I realized I had to do first.
I learned that there is Heaven and Hell. I learned a little bit about who Jesus was. I was very confused and did not understand why God would send His son here to DIE and go through horrible things. I then spoke with a friend of mine on the phone on March 26th 2002 and he explained to me why Jesus came here. He explained to me who Adam and Eve were. He told me about what they did and how we are all born into a SINFUL nature. I learned many things I did not know. With time I learned even more.
Right after I got off the phone with my friend, went and got in the shower. I started to think about everything. I cannot explain it but I fell down on my knees and cried out to Jesus to forgive me of all my horrible sins that I had done. I also forgave everyone in my life that had done horrible things to me. I realized and started to understand why Jesus came here. I could not stop praying and by the time I got out, the emptiness in my heart was gone. I am telling you, it was all gone! All my life searching for that one thing that would take away that emptiness and doing this did it! Why, at this time I was not sure. The next day I was full of joy and happiness. I could not stop being so happy. I was so shocked of how awesome I was feeling. Something I had looked for 21 years and I finally got it. Realizing this, the next thing I wanted to do was to learn more about this whole bible thing and do what I can to show others what Jesus has done for me. Every night before I went to bed I now prayed for God to give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and for Him to open my eyes to see the truth.
No one told me, but I knew the next thing I wanted to do was to be baptized. I had this desire in my heart to get closer to God. I never did know that after being baptized that everything you had ever done in your past is gone in Gods eyes. After going down in those waters a sinner you come up all-clean and washed (Romans 6:4, Acts 22:16) from anything you have done in your past. God sees you as a new person. That night that I prayed in the bathtub, I prayed for Him to bring me friends, a good church, and to fill my loneliness. Just two days later God opened so many doors for me.
(There were three steps to the work of Christ—death, burial, and resurrection. It is very easy to see that these three steps make up the act of being born again. To die, to be buried, and to rise again—is to be born again. So we see that Jesus, through His death, burial, and resurrection, bought for us the plan of being born again spoken of in John 3:3, whereby we receive salvation. Repentance–Death, Baptism–Burial, Holy Ghost–Resurrection. Irvin Baxter Jr., www.Endtime.com)
On March 28th 2002 my neighbor calls me wanting to hang out. I found out that he went to church and he invited me to an Easter play at his church that weekend. I wasn’t sure about going because I am a very shy person about going to new places. I went back to his house the next day and he left. I was sitting there speaking with his grandma. She was telling that the Easter play is awesome. Well, I finally decided to go and went on Sunday 31st of March. I really enjoy the play but never did I realize that I would be going to this church in the next couple of days and stay there for 6 months.
I started to attend that church in South Bend and the first day I hated it. I did not understand anything the pastor was talking about. I almost even fell asleep. Church was over and my neighbors asked me how I liked it. I said, "Not really, I didn’t understand anything he said". They said, "Well, you have to at least come back for each service". Therefore, I said, "Okay" and I came back the next service. I had to try it out. I mean what if I did like one of the services they had. I would not want to miss that. I went to the next service and I learned more that. I still did not understand many things like; why did the people raise their hands, why did they go up to the front, why did they shout, and what was all that weird language coming out of their mouth when they prayed?
I asked my neighbors and they helped me understand a little. They were very helpful in answering all the questions I had. They showed me biblical verses to help me understand everything that was going on. I came back again Sunday morning and again it was great. I started to learn more and met so many new people. I met someone later on who became a good friend and helped me study the bible.
That Sunday night I felt a huge desire that it was time to get baptized. It was April 7th 2002 and the person I rode to church with wanted to leave. Therefore, we left. During that week while I was cleaning my room I was praying, thanking God for everything He has brought into my life. I started to pray and that weird language came out of my mouth. Not even knowing what it was I stopped and finished cleaning my room. Next weekend I got baptized on April 14th for the remission of my sins in Jesus Name (Acts2:38). More and more I prayed the more I seemed to pray in tongues and learned that I received the Holy Ghost, which is promised to them that believe. Speaking in tongues is an outward, external evidence, instantly observable and heard. By contrast, peace, joy, righteousness, and spiritual fruit are inward, internal results of the infilling that become evident with the passing of time. (Acts 1:8, Acts 2:1-4, ACTS 2:36-43, Acts 8:14-17, Acts 10:44-48, Acts 19:2-6, Galatians 5:22-23)
I was happier then I had ever been in my life. The emptiness in my life was gone. I received so much knowledge, understanding, and wisdom by reading the bible and praying. I learned that I had to stop doing certain things that I was doing because by sinning YOU WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD(1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-21). I knew why certain things happened in my life. I understand and saw when God wanted things His way. He blessed me with so many things. I have received money, friends, love, happiness, a great church, and He has healed my body of many things. Now looking back on the days when I never knew Jesus, I see that He was right beside me at all times. I see how many times He has kept me safe from dying, getting aids, becoming an alcoholic, drug addict, or getting into a lot of trouble. I know that I had to go through the certain things I went through so I can help others who are going through what I went through. I also feel that God had me go through certain things that I did because there is someone else out there that isn’t hearing Gods voice and will only hear mine. Therefore, if I am able to help someone with the pain I went through its all worth it.
I know God has a great job for me to do and that is to pass the word onto others. Invite them to church and allow them to have something I never used to have. Maybe people did tell me who Jesus was when I was younger, but whoever they are, they planting a seed within me. It stayed in me all these years and now look at where I am. So now, this is what I am doing to give back to God for saving my life. I am talking with people online, at work, at a restaurant, or any chance God gives me letting him or her know about whom Jesus is. Letting them know they can be happy if they start to live for Jesus. People can argue about what the bible has to say, but not one person can argue with what I have been through. With what I have experienced no one can tell me that it’s not true. God is no respecter of persons. Romans 2:11, Acts 10:34 He wants to see all make it to heaven.
Concerning the Holy Ghost, if God blessed me with His wonderful Spirit, why would you think that you do not deserve it also? For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off (Acts 2:39). If God had more to offer you, wouldn’t you want to have that? The question is, "Are you ready to fill that void in your life with the right thing or keep living your life the way you always have"? There is more to life then what you know it to be and I thank God that He has showed mercy, love, and opened my eyes to see the truth. He has given me a chance to make it to heaven now, to live for eternity with HIM instead of living in hell forever. That is another question, "do you want to make it to heaven when you die or be in hell for eternity"? You do not know what time it will be when you die. I just hope from my heart that you will accept Jesus into your heart, obey Gods word; accepting the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. If God can do it for me, He can do it for you. The choice is yours while you are on earth to live for Jesus or Satan.
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
If you are unsure with all I have spoken about, take some time to get that bible of yours and check it out. I have given scriptures throughout my testimony so you can see for yourself that everything that has happened to me is the same experience the apostles went through in the book of Acts in the bible. For the promise is unto you Acts 2:39. I do not want to see you or anyone else pass this by and either does GOD. If you are interested in having a bible study, please contact me at breakingfree2day@aol.com